This very thought has been a life preserver in a sea of dread that tries to drown me in the middle of the night.I have the choice to either believe that my best days are behind me, which can let all the air out of my life, or... to anticipate many wonderful days ahead.Which do you choose?XoxJanet

“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame,judgment, and blame.”― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You AreAfter reading this book and hearing this woman, whom I deem A gift from God speak,I had an "ah ha" moment about that torturous, addictive, up in the middle of the night, thing called perfectionism.What Brene helped me to understand, was that perfectionism comes from that deep well of shame and inadequacy that we immediately go to when we feel we must impress. But who are we impressing?That well has been filled by all our negative self talk, and is fed by the very thing that we feel we lack the most.So we will overextend ourselves, often to the point of exhaustion, to overcompensate. That starts more shame and self judgement, and now those negative voices, they have formed a choir.... A very loud choir, and the well gets deeper and deeper.Here is the question I've had to ask myself. Am I striving for excellence?wanting to be the best ME I can be? Is that what fuels the desire to be perfect?Or...is all this tail chasing going on because of what I want "THEM" to think of me?AH HA! Right?!I was often under the false illusion that I was just striving for excellence.But your demons are great bullshitters. They'll tell you anything to keep the game going, those rascals.So , "who am I trying to impress"' is always the first question I ask myselfWhen I get that twinge toward perfectionism.Because you know what?The peanut gallery,"THEY"Are never satisfied.If they are as judgmental as I am...I'm doomed!I have to say that age has set me free. Perfectionism was my judge and jailer much more when I was younger, and age has brought me a certain ability to relax into the fact that things are never going to be perfect, most certainly, myself.Whew!! What a relief!!XoxJanet 

Uncertainty and indecision are the two backseat driversin life that can really shake you to the core.They keep you off balance enough that you find yourself walkingin circles, not sure which direction to take.They keep you distracted by their very presence,Their voices drowning out any voice of reason, and even the radio!"Why don't you know what to do next?" taunts uncertainty."Why such a hard time deciding?" scowls indecision.We are here to tell you:Sometimes you just don't know....and that's okay!There are times in life, when you're going to be standing at a crossroads,checking in with your gut, asking "which way now"? And you're going to hearSilence...Crickets...And you know what? That's an answer!When you check in, when you do all your due diligence,and all you hear are the voices of those scoundrels Uncertainty and indecision,Stand stillBreatheIt's going to be fine!Those two cannot hold up to the scrutiny of courage and faith.It takes courage to navigate uncertainty.It take faith to conquer indecision.They are not scoundrels after all, they are two very powerfulteachers.Once you make peace with that, you can kick them out of your backseat,Let go of the wheel, turn up the radio, and know that all is well and the answers will come.

It's like driving your car only looking thru the rear view mirror!

What does it take for someone to earn a place in your life?Is the criteria complicated?Are there invisible tests they must pass?Or do all that apply get accepted?Trust should be earned. Not given away for free.People should be approached with an open heart,but earning a permanent place there, should come with a few qualifications.First and foremost, is the love and trust reciprocated?It should never feel one sided.Second, are secrets kept, and confidences held close?You want to know that your most intimate thoughts and vulnerabilitieswon't be betrayed to others.Third, are they dependable? Will they be there when you need them?Will they drop everything in a crisis to be available to you?If you can answer yes to all three of these questions, then and only then, should someone become significant in your circle.You may even have a couple more criteria of your own that must be met,But let these three questions be a true litmus test of who you hold close and who you keep as an acquaintance.Not everyone EARNS a place of SIGNIFICANCE in your heart.

Just a reminder here, that all the aches and pains,and cold and flu symptoms are part of a recalibration.After big waves of energy come in, they rearrange everything,the cells of every living thing are shifted,and shuffled.This is all for the better, but often your bodies need some time to catch up.That is why you feel so tired, achy and cranky.It makes you seek solitude and rest, lots of rest.As these cells recalibrate, they actually vibrate faster, shaking off a layer of density, of unwanted, un needed layers of "muck".As this "energetic muck" is released, your body responds.If it chooses to leave quickly, it looks like vomiting and diarrhea.Chills and sweating. Like the "flu"So don't freak out, and don't yell NO at it!The more you resist and yell NO, the longer it will take to pass,And it will pass, so better to just relax into it.For many of you it presents as a sore throat, and running nose.Like a "cold".Again, it is your body catching up with this new higher energy, so now that you remember that, you will just take it easy, and let it pass.We don't want to sound like a broken record, but we can hear you complaining,So here's our gentle reminder ;-)If you want more of a reminder re read "Recalibration" from earlier this year.

Are you proud of yourself? Of the life you're leading?If you're not, what can you do to correct that?Some of you have never felt pride in yourselves or your accomplishments.You have never thought about yourself, or walked thru the world with a sense of pride.What WE mean by that is, many of you don't want to seems full of yourselves,So you self deprecate, almost to a fault.Now, this can be a tightrope topic.Look at the definitions of PROUD especially the second one, and LOOK at those synonyms!PROUDproud/adjective1.feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated."a proud grandma of three boys"synonyms: pleased, glad, happy, delighted, joyful, overjoyed, thrilled, satisfied, gratified, content Moreantonyms: ashamed(of an event, achievement, etc.) causing someone to feel this way."we have a proud history of innovation"synonyms: pleasing, gratifying, satisfying, cheering, heartwarming; Moreantonyms: shameful2.having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance."a proud, arrogant man"having or showing a consciousness of one's own dignity."I was too proud to go home"SYNONYMS: arrogant, conceited, vain, self-important, full of oneself, puffed up, jumped-up, smug, complacent, disdainful, condescending, scornful, supercilious, snobbish, imperious, pompous, overbearing, bumptious, haughty; Moreantonyms: humble, modestimposing; splendid."bulrushes emerge tall and proud from the middle of the pond"synonyms: magnificent, splendid, resplendent, grand, noble, stately, imposing, dignified, striking, impressive, majestic, glorious, awe-inspiring, awesome, Having pride and being proud of yourself has gotten a bad name.You can appear to be the MOST humble soul on the planet.But we want you to FEEL proud of yourselves on the INSIDE.These feelings are not mutually exclusive. You can be humble and feel pride.We would like you to realize your value, and feel how valuable your life is.We trust that you will not go off the deep end with this.Even the people that seem to be all puffed up and boastful are a facade.They overcompensate for their real, hidden feelings of inferiority.So we'd like to give you an assignment.Find one thing in your life that you're doing currently that givesyou a sense of pride inside.If you don't know what that feels like, look at the first definition above for help.Feelings of pleasure,satisfaction,and gratification.Even if it's as simple as opening the door for someone,or giving a homeless man a dollar.Did you purge and give all your boxes to a charity?Did you call and wish someone a happy birthday?Maybe you let someone ahead of you in the checkout line.Seriously, start there.These do not have to be huge, we just want you to look for that feeling inside.After you find this feeling, you will become addicted to it.You will begin to search for ways to feel that satisfaction with yourself.And believe us when we say, it becomes contagious.When you walk thru the world behaving with a sense of pride,your actions will follow, others will start to "pay it forward"and this will start a chain reaction.You will single handedly change the way the world views Pride and being Proud.Well done! We're proud of you ;-)

(This is always a hard one)

"You are not your mind, your emotions or the circumstances of your life. You are the peaceful observer of your mind and emotions that allows life circumstances to pass through and around you for your evolution to finally come to a place of total acceptance of all that is. Only the peaceful observer remains after all else fades away. Only the peaceful observer in total acceptance of what is can take action towards effectively changing anything. You are only this peaceful observer - everything else is as fleeting as the blink of an eye, choose happiness and don't buy into it."- Jackson Kiddard

Many of you are finding yourselves with the urge to purge!What we mean by that is, you are thinning things out,Getting rid of the superfluous things in your life.This can be junk around the house.A cluttered office or garage, that has sat that way for years,suddenly becomes too much to tolerate any longer!You are open to throwing away things that had "sentimental value".Somehow, they no longer have that hold on you.It's happening with people too.And that's okay.You're finding yourself being fine with the fact that you haven't seen someone in ages.You're actually better than fine, you're vaguely relieved.The effort it takes to find commonality in your conversations,seems like a waste of time.We don't mean that in a cruel way,it's just that time seems more precious,and the people that you spend it with have to feel good.No more going thru the motions just to be polite.There is a benefit here.As you set these old acquaintances aside, they will feel set free as well.It takes a lot of energy to maintain a relationship that has run its course.It is psychically exhausting.If it fades away...let it.Don't feel guilty or obligated because of the past.They will feel the closure. You will start to feel this urge to purge on a regular basis.It is another part of this new energy.Not everything will make the cut!You are going to become VERY selective, and the things that do , will hold meaning and purpose.They will make you feel good, not guilty.It is about becoming lighter, and all this baggage will become too heavyto carry thru these coming days.Give into this urge to purge!You cannot fly without it!

It is very important that you are impeccable with your thoughts.They are the propulsion behind the trajectory of your life.If you are sloppy, your life will reflect that.The same applies if you are fearful or timid.It will feel as if you're living a half life.What you want to watch out for, are the thoughts that are self sabotaging.They slow down your momentum.Momentum is what you're after these days.Keep your thoughts focused on your desires,with the finish line in your sights.Paying very close attention to how you feel.Do you go through most of your day feelingempowered? Or defeated?Do you feel as if the Universe works with you?Or against you?Do your desires seem attainable to you?What is the first step in that direction?The energy these days can really amp up the momentum behindyour desires.It can act like a slingshot, helping you to reach maximum velocity.All you have to do is monitor your thoughts and feelings.Are you adding to that momentum, becauseNegativity and self doubt acts like drag, it slows things down.When you wonder why things are taking so long to manifest,look no further than your own energy, your own thoughts,then take some time to become impeccable.

Good Morning!So many of you are living in emotional pain and anxietybecause you are trying to maintain a toxic family relationship.And many of these are very one sided, YOU are the only one trying.It is true that blood is thicker than water, but the blood that runs thru your veinsgives you life.so does water.Now water can also destroy. So can blood.Just because someone is blood related does not give them the licenseto destroy you.To berate you,To physically or emotionally hurt you,To undermine you,To withhold love intentionally.A lot of you give them a pass.Because they are family, they feel they have your undying allegiance,And with that trust they manipulate you and cause you pain.THAT is not love.Whether it is your mom or dad, sister or brother, you must end that allegiancewhen there is a lack of love and acceptance.You all have harsh judges in your lives, they should not be your family.Because if that happens as you grow and mature, and you feel you can never do or be enough, that translates into adulthood as self doubt, self loathing, constant feelings of inadequacy and total lack of self confidence.We are advocating love and acceptance of these family members for who they are.They may never change.You may even find it in your heart to forgive.But you must not tether your heart to people who do not deservethat trust.Chasing after the love of a parent will translate into a lifetime of chasing love.You are better than that!Your heart is precious and should be cherished.Please know that, and honor yourself to the extent that You can step out of a hurtful family situation.They are blood, but they are not your real family.Your real family will uplift you,They will love you even if you stumble.They do not seek to humiliate or bully you.They practice unconditional love.Find THOSE people, and make THEM your family!